Why You're Still Single (Part 2)
Updated: Nov 27, 2019
In the first part of this post, i mentioned a few reasons as to why an individual may still be single, and offered a few solutions as to how those issues can be changed. If you haven't read it yet, click here.
Now let's get to the other reasons.
7) Fear of Commitment
This is most common with men but women experience this as well. It's that big fear of being "tied down" by one person for the rest of your life. That fear of commitment could be as a result of many things. It could be that all the person has seen in their life is a string of bad relationships, fear of picking the wrong person, fear of losing their independence or freedom, etc. Whatever the reason may be, it is hard for someone with a fear of commitment to make that big leap or take a step of faith towards marriage.
My Solution: Once you meet the right person, you have to get out of your head and Just Do It. If your fear of commitment is on the extreme side, i will advice you speak with a Therapist because that can really cause you to miss out on a lot of good things. Also get good role models that have good marriages so that they can help you to see that marriage is a beautiful thing, not a frightful one.
8) Not Ready To Settle Down
A lot of people are not ready to settle down because they are just having too much fun being single and are not ready for the party to end. Some are busy with other things in their lives. Maybe school, their careers, their businesses, etc. It's great to follow your goals and be about your hustle, but remember that life waits for no one and consults no one. The right person can enter your life at any time or season, whether you are ready or not. It's up to you to seize the opportunity or let it go by. Remember that once it's gone, you may NEVER get it back.
Like i mentioned above, some mistakes are hard to undo.
My Solution: Follow your dreams, have fun, but also learn to understand the times. Life never goes as planned, so learn to adapt and adjusts to life's curve-balls. Plus, the right person entering your life is not such a bad thing. It can be an inconvenience at first but in the long term, you'll realize your life has become much better as a result of it.
Life waits for no one and consults no one. Cease the day.
9) Too Busy
This is for my "No Time For Love" gang. My busy bees. Too busy at work, too invested in your business, your hustle, always travelling, no stability in your life for any sort of relationship. You go out of your house early in the morning and come back at odd hours. The only free time you get is when you want to sleep. You have no life basically. Listen, i know that struggle. I have a very challenging job and i understand the-i-work-long-hours struggle. But someone once said that we make time for the things that are important to us.
My Solution: No matter how "busy" we think we are, if we are interested enough, we will always rearrange our schedules to fit in those things that are important. You are not the first busy person on this planet and you won't be the last. If other people find time to be in happy relationships despite their busy schedules, you can too. If your problem is time management, there are so many free online resources that can help you manage your time. Work will come and go but love will last you a lifetime.
Prioritize love into your schedule.
10) You Always Pick The Wrong People
Some people are single because they always end up picking the wrong people. They either pick someone that wastes their time, deceives them, abuses them, betrays them, etc. And the cycle goes on and on. And many times they are so naive to these red flags and only take action when the problem is too big to ignore, and a lot of time has gone by. Do you know how many good men/women you've missed by wasting your time with the wrong person?
Stop allowing people that never should've made it past hello to become permanent residents in your life and heart.
My Solution: Take a good look on the inside and ask yourself why you always attract these kinds of people. Many times it's an internal issue. If you can fix that broken switch aka bad boy/bad girl magnet inside of you, you'll be able to make better choices when it comes to relationships. Also, stop condoning certain behaviors, and expect better from your relationships because you deserve better.
11) Waiting For The Perfect Time
This is a little similar to point number 8 but not completely. This is for people who want to settle down and have met the right person and are WILLING to take that next step but feel the conditions are not ideal just yet to get married or they haven't met the right person yet but are waiting for certain conditions to be met before they take that step. Maybe they are saving up till they have enough money for the "perfect wedding" or other things, maybe they are waiting till they graduate from school, waiting for a promotion, etc. Nothing wrong with any of these things. All these things may be great but they also have a down side.
My Solution: There will never be a "perfect time" for anything. If you are waiting for certain conditions to be met before you say i do, you might wait for longer than you anticipated because life doesn't always go as planned. Don't wait for EVERY condition to be met, just the essential ones. It won't be the worst thing in the world if all your conditions aren't met. Life goes on.
12) You Haven't Met The Right Person Yet.
Sometimes you are single through no fault of your own. Sometimes it's just that you haven't met the right person yet. You've dated a lot of Frogs and you gave it your best shot but it just never worked out, why? Because they weren't the right one for you.
My Solution: Keep waiting. Don't compromise your values and settle for less. Waiting is hard. I know. But it's the wait that'll make it so much more beautiful when you finally meet that right person. And while you're waiting, don't put your life on pause. Live your life. Travel. Have fun. Go on adventures. Open a business. Buy a house, etc. Be productive. Enjoy your life. Waiting doesn't have to be boring.
13) Its Not Your Time
You may be single because it's simply not your time. The bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1 that there is a time and season for everything.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
So there is an appointed time for you to be married and if it's not your season, it won't happen. I've seen so many people try to force and make things happen on their own and they've failed miserably. Listen, when its your turn, you won't have to force anything. It will just flow seamlessly.
My Solution: Trust the process. Trust God. When it's your time, He will make it happen for you.
CONCLUSION There are countless other reasons why a person may still be single. These are just a few of some of the important reasons that i came up with. Sometimes it can be because of something we did or didn't do, and it can also be out of your control. Whatever the reason may be, if you desire to be married, always work on bettering yourself and be conscious of your choices, your life influences, and what you put out there.
There's plenty of love out there for everyone.